“Here’s Your Hat, What’s Your Hurry?”: Dealing with Difficult Wedding Guests

March 31st, 2016 | Weddings


There is no easy way to broach this subject: there are simply a few people who you may not be completely thrilled to see at your wedding.


This is not a sign of complete family dysfunction, it is just a fact of life.  These guests, usually close to your partner or in your own family, would be noticeably missed and create bad blood on your greatest day if they were not invited.  Therefore, here are some wedding planning tips that can help you with regard to problematic guests.


  • Get a Wedding Planner. This cannot be overstated enough. A wedding planner does far more than make arrangements; they work tirelessly toward the goal of making your wedding as stress-free as possible.  And, one of the roles they can play is the “Bad Guy.”  This is the person who can take heat from those who overstep their boundaries and can tell problematic guests that decisions were theirs and not that of the Bride and Groom.  If angry Aunt Linda demands that she be able to sing when she is obviously quite tipsy, your wedding planner can stop it from happening if you wish.  With this buffer, you can distance yourself from the nonsense that can occur – remember, this is YOUR wedding and the least you deserve is to have a drama-free ceremony.  When problems occur, simply direct them to your wedding planner to smooth them out while you mingle with those closest to you.


  • Designate Them as Volunteers. An interesting thing happens when you give problematic guests a task to perform: it often changes their complete psychology from negative to positive.  An old trick for a small town sheriff would be to find the most troublesome kids and, ironically, put them in charge of stopping trouble in the town.  With a mission, no matter how small, people usually take it seriously and feel worthwhile.  So, if your soon-to-be father-in-law has been nothing but bitter, simply ask him to be in charge of security or another job.  This will focus his mind and make him actually feel like an asset to the event.  Make sure to inform your wedding planner of your intentions so they will be on board.



  • Be Kind and Wait for Extraction! Speaking of designated jobs, those closest to you often feel it is their duty to help and protect you on your wedding day, so let them. Discuss with a select, trusted few the potential problems and they will be on high alert for those incidents.  Just like a politician or royalty, always keep your smile and know that someone is already on their way to take you by the arm and guide you away under the pretense that you are needed elsewhere.  You neither have the time nor the obligation to placate problem guests – this day is about you.


  • If All Else Fails, Make Your Stand. Sometimes buried tension can come to a head and the best option may be to take a stand.  You are committing your life to your partner, and family will, well, always be family.  Based entirely on your discretion, you may choose to address the ‘elephant in the room’ before the wedding day and let a few people know that this is your day and you will not be spoken down to or ostracized.  An ironic thing about overbearing people is that they usually respect others when they stand up to them.  Facilitating peace is always the best option, but when it comes to your wedding and the future of your relationship with your spouse, it is you who must decide if issues must be addressed head on or it is better to smooth things over.  There are many reunions, Thanksgivings, and Christmases together to look forward to, so decide what you must confront and that which you can tolerate.



            Wedding planning is an exercise in endurance and patience, but a trusted wedding planner will take a tremendous amount of pressure off of you so that you will remember only the best from your wedding day. The experts at WE Plan It are happy to discuss any aspect about your big day with you.


Contact WE Plan It to Begin Your Wedding Plans!

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